Scheherazade "Zadie" Bond
Angel Gracey and Muriel most want to tell you either about what sometimes happens in the FUGs showroom at 3:30am or this other cool thing they’re secretly collaborating on. You don’t know Angel Gracey and Muriel?....come back soon. You’ll get to know them. So in the meantime Zadie wants to get a bunch of FUG statistics out of her inbox:
What did you do on June 30, 2020? I possibly miscounted a 1969 Chevelle or two, but I promise FUG’s website pictures 2,987 sold vehicles: 330 (11%) were Mustangs; 263 were Camaros; 218 Chevelles; 178 Corvettes, and 79 GTOs.
NOTE: if you’re now tired of this, skip to the last paragraph where Tony tells us how he came to sell a 1943 tractor.
For more statistics. Of the 2,987, 35% (1,033) were Chevys; 13% (396) were Fords; 7% (221) Porsches; 6% (185 Pontiacs); and 4% (131) Mercedes. And for those of us desperate to know more: 128 Dodges, 84 Olds, 76 Maseratis, 74 Plymouths, and 51 each Jaguars and BMWs.
Still more: Model year 2000-2020 618 sold
1980-1999 486 sold
1960-1979 1,679 sold
1940-1959 159 sold
Before 1940 45 sold
Almost 25% of the cars FUGs has sold were 1969 and 1970s.
And just so we all know: they’ve sold one Amphicar, one Bugatti, and also one Citroen, Delorean, Lancia, Opel, Saab, Sunbeam, and one 1900 Other Buggy.
NOW TONY AND THE TRACTOR: “It was part of a car collection and I couldn’t help myself as it was so beautiful (I know a tractor).” First there was Thomas the Tank Engine, and now it’s Tony the Tractor….awww, we’re in love J
HAPPY BIRTHDY AMERICA from Zadie
NIGHT AT THE GARAGE : The FUG and GOSS’
We’re back. An introduction: I’m Scheherazade “Zadie” Bond. I became familiar with Fleming’s Ultimate Garage, Tony, and his cars a while back when I heard rumors that Rockstar was going to temporarily move Grand Theft Auto’s Michael, Trevor, and Franklin from Los Santos to the DC area, partly because they’d heard that awesomely hot and gorgeous muscle and exotic cars were available “just for the taking” at this place north of the DC beltway in Rockville, MD. Who would have thought?
So - I had my double, Angel Gracey, come with me to recon, and when we looked into the showrooms (this was at 3:30am), the shiny paint jobs all but blinded our night vision goggles. Quickly recuperating, we saw the trunk of a GTO slowly open and someone climbed out. FULL ALERT – THIS PLACE NEEDS US ON THE JOB!! The person, probably male, was tallish and had something shiny on his left wrist…….OMG!
WHAT THE BLAZES IS GOING ON? He’s rearranging the furniture so it’s all in the middle surrounded by the cars all pointing out…like a frigging circled wagon train?? Wait – where’d the perp go? He’s gone! Oh to see the faces at tomorrow’s opening! And Tony – we’re available to guard FUGs during the night.
That’s how our friendship began. While definitely odd, this first activity was just the start of the things we can tell about The FUG. We’ve had some overseas and high seas action, protecting FUG shipments; we’ll get those declassified and tell all. Also we’ll share what we’ve learned and think about those informative, but sometimes screamingly funny, You.Tube videos - Angel and Muriel join me with our wine and cheese and chocolate for laughs Sunday nights. We just watched our so-far-all-time-favorite again – the August 17, 2015, Goss Garage interview, in which at 1:10 Tony reveals his high school envy and at 3:45 he explains that crank thing by your left hand and at 8:41 we get the flashing Fleming smile. More later.
Wild cheers – Zadie B
GUNS AND ROSES AND GOATS
“4 inches wider in the rear”…. I jerked awake. What am I listening to – a discussion of what happens when you stay at home near a frig for five months? Wake. Up. Oh – it’s Tony pointing out the distinctive shape of a dynamite looking, red something. Did I hear him call it a “daily driver exotic?” I have got to restart this video.
Ok – Zadie’s back, and I’m watching a Nov. 18, 2016, You.Tube vid (Good Grief – he’s got a top knot) of a 1990 Corvette ZR -1. Well that is a truly awesome looking ride. He opens the hood and there’s this enormous, deliciously powerful engine built by Mercury Marine. Who knew? Now he’s talking about the magnetic select ride and pairing the selections with Sinatra, Guns and Roses, and Metallica: good tunes, Tony.
The inside really does look good, and it looks like the seats can almost give you a massage. So I watched ZR-1 videos from March 16, 2011, and Aug 29, 2013. The love of those cars doesn’t change (but I’ve heard he really loves GOATS); his hair, however, goes from curly to manbun to businessman.
How did I get side-tracked by a Corvette ZR-1. I planned to watch a virtual tour of The FUG: New Dealership Walk Through (Feb 24, 2017) because reportedly 80% of you customers never see the showrooms in person, let along the work areas and the back lot. I personally am looking forward to using my special BandE skill some night soon to look around all the sub-basements – surely there are sub-basements - of that back building. I bet it’s where all the sizzling hot cars go to play at night.
And thanks for the…ummm…gentle hint, Tony: 4” wider in the rear….mutter mutter grumble - Zadie B
FOR THE CROWN PRINCE
Scheherazade Bond (July 2020)
Interpol contacted me in early January: was I available to investigate a world-wide vehicle smuggling operation out of the port of Los Angeles and possibly involving 14 cars being shipped by Fleming’s Ultimate Garage. I made arrangements to quietly board the vessel when it docked along the Straits of Magellan. So began a month-long journey.
While the ship was docked I was able to enter the hold, find the FUG cars, and search them. As suspected, there were drugs in four FUG vehicles, as well as other dealers’ shipments. I warned Mr. Fleming, while somewhat re-assuring him that Interpol had him low on the list of persons of interest. Before crossing the Atlantic headed for the Canary Islands, the ship made a final stop in Brazil. I was on high alert as I detected activity near the cars.
Eight days later all was quiet at Los Palmos in the Canaries. We proceeded east through the Med, with an uneventful stop at Piraeus, Greece. The Beirut stop was chaotic: I was barely able to remain undetected when one night there was high activity. I feared a large shipment of Captagon tablets was being hidden in the vehicles for delivery to Dubai.
There was no further activity in the hold as we transitted the Suez Canal (an amazing experience) and headed south through the Red Sea to the Indian Ocean. Tensions were high, but we passed uneventfully through the area of the Somali pirates and northeast around the Arabian Peninsula. In early February we finally arrived at the Port of Jebel Ali, Dubai.
Interpol agents and Dubai police took possession of all the vehicles, including the FUG shipment which included seven cars for Crown Prince Fazza. I was pleased with the efficiency and skill of the Dubai officials and ten FUG cars were quickly cleared; 4 cars were held as they did contain Captagon and other drugs and the identity of the purchaser was murky. Fortunately, by this time FUG was cleared. I met with Crown Prince Fazza, who was delighted with his purchases and declared “I look forward to visiting my new friend Tony Fleming when I visit the States later this year.” I cautioned Mr. Fleming that the Crown Prince would want to drive everything in the showroom and that perhaps the police should be notified that Fazza would turn Lofstrand Road into a race course.
Wild times indeed and cheers to you all, Zadie B